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About Me !

This is the post excerpt.

To be able to pen down your ideas, not necessarily comes easy to everyone. Like most other things, even blogging is an art and it undergoes evolution.

Welcome to my new found love for writing. Since i am a Mental health professional, being resourceful in various aspects of mental health is my passion and a constant effort too. On my site you will hence find a lot of self help articles to read. Most of them will leave with questions to be answered by self. But whatever said and done, it will be my pleasure to leave you with some self reflective mindful thoughts to imply and share.

#mindmatters2me

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The Self Talk of Acceptance

Even though man is a social animal, in present situations he is required to socially distance himself since that is the only way to fight the Co-Vid 19. Although not impossible, it certainly is tough. More so because man is expected to behave exact opposite of his instincts. This kind of restrictions are bound to elicit feelings of discomfort, irritability, anxiety, fear and so on, resulting in a general community unrest. Times like these, not only test your inner strengths but also your coping mechanisms. Here’s introducing ACCEPTANCE – one of the slightly difficult yet extremely essential mechanism.

Difficult because it takes huge amount of courage to believe to oneself that times are challenging. You see, man is the most intelligent animal of the chain. And over the years, he has evolved with a sentiment of ‘I can fight it all’ & ‘weakness is not in me’. And yes its true to a large extent but this kind of conditioning only makes acceptance weaker & defenses stronger. It creates road blocks to clear thought patterns or even objectivity at times.

Acceptance is essential because, it keeps you very well in touch with ‘here & now’ or reality as opposed to denial which makes our perception of situations delusional. Once we wholeheartedly accept that yes, the times are challenging, we automatically set our brain in a more clearer thought process which is often solution oriented one. Acceptance also aids honest & healthy ‘SELF TALK’. And how to practice that ? Its simple, for instance when you feel uncomfortable or irritated; stand in front of your mirror alone, look in our eyes, and tell yourself aloud (preferably) or within ur mind that, “I feel unrest – It is normal – It will pass – I shall overcome it with ACCEPTANCE”. Repeat this monologue to yourself atleast 3 times and take a fresh face wash. On returning, I am sure the feeling will be much different & better.

Well then, for today, try practicing this healthy self talk exercise and if you feel any good, don’t hesitate to share it with others. Remember – Acceptance is the key.

#mindmatters2me

Ketki Wagh

Counselling Psychologist

Mumbai, India.

Blue Zones

I am sure not all of us are aware of this phenomenon of ‘Blue Zones’ that exists. Well now that you have come across of something like this, its worth to find out a little more about it. Leave me your opinion from the following perspectives of Blue Zones.

1 What are Blue Zones?

2. What is so special about them ?

3. Is it possible to make your own home into a Blue Zone ? If yes, how ?

Its time to Google them up and read a bit. Stop, Think & Act.

#mindmatters2me

Ms. Ketki Wagh

Counselling Psychologist

Mumbai, India.

Now is the time !

Its a common observation (and also human tendency) that people live with infinite assumptions about surroundings and their near and dear ones, all their life. These assumptions are usually both, tangible and non tangible aspects of life. Right from appearances, conduct, family background, surroundings, education, occupation to even behavior. And the list is endless. I am sure we all come across this phenomenon so often and at times also find ourselves admits a situation like that. And well, the experience of being in one such situation is usually not that healthy too. Today, I recommend to you to just sit back a bit and think as to where do these assumptions come from ? May be it will be clear, on thinking a bit, that we often land up assuming things about people based on our learnt, heard, or conditioned notions.

For instance, it is a common assumption/ notion/ belief that just because she is a woman, she will be knowing cooking or she will compromise. Or just because they are children, they may not have an opinion for themselves and even if they have, it doesn’t matter. Or just because they are elderly, they have to adjust the most in any given situation. So on and on and on…

The thought I am trying to put across here is that, it is more liberating and mindful when one is looked at without any assumptions and with a totally non judgemental and clean view. We have several evidential material to tell us that these assumptions are un healthy and hindrance to our inter personal relations. And hence as you read this article, i want you to take just a few minutes to think to yourself if knowingly or unknowingly you have been doing it. I believe that when we answer to ourselves, we are utmost honest.

The important point to be noted is that, when we operate from the level of assumptions we often loose objectivity. We continue to ponder in ‘past relevance’ as opposed to being in ‘here and now’. We land up overlooking the that the individual may have done it in that way ‘this time’ as opposed to the ‘last time’. We missout on the aspect of ‘fair judgment’ because of our past experiences. We tend to forget that each time is a new time and the individual may have evolved from that time. Imagine the umpire giving away his decision based on the previous ball (wicket) to a boundary hit on this ball. There, thankfully we have digital mechanisms to cross verify but in real life, the judgment may land up leaving a scar for a lifetime.

Since the assumptions are learnt experiences, they can surely be unlearnt. This lockdown has given us more than required time on hand. And its wise to invest some of it in self introspection. Introspect your self in these areas which will help you improve your overall persona and will make you more mindful of your own thoughts and actions. Stop, Think & Act.

#mindmatters2me

-Ms Ketki Wagh

Counselling Psychologist

Mumbai, India.

Fragile- Handle with care!

Being home bound with everyone and having limited things to do is certainly not easy. It affects all the relationships be it professional or personal, most importantly the relationship within spouses. Important more so, because it sends cascading effects across your life. Consider these few thinking points in order to handle each other during these testing times.

Communication and Patience : We all may agree that we communicate, but do we really communicate needs and feelings is the question. Its wise to show patience and communicate at the feeling level considering that the global situation is going to elicit unrest within ourselves. Remember to show more that the usual levels of patience with each other during the lockdown.

Compromise or Letting go : Its bound to happen that when we are all home n locked up, ego clashes may come up and tempers may rise. It is wise to choose your battles. Not all reactions may need a counter. Consider reserving your energies for productive things. Your response to each argument will not only drain you out but also fill you with negativity.

Alone Time : This WFH and the lock down have certainly put our “alone time” away. And its wise to accept that each one of us needs that alone time when we are by ourselves and no one is around. Try squeezing out that time for yourself even during lockdown. So what if it is that midnight slot of 10 or 15 minutes when everyone is asleep. Its required for each one of us.

Rules for Fights / Arguments : Arguments or fights are never pleasant and sometimes they may turn nasty. Its wise to set rules even for that. Yes ! Why not have rules for fights ? A couple of mutually agreed rules for instance, not to raise the voice or not using cuss words or not to refer to past instances etc will always help.

“Vent-out” Time : It is possible that certain deep rooted topics or arguments may need their own justified time and space. Disscusing them in front of everyone may not be healthy. Consider setting them up for a later time, mutually and once agreed upon that, refrain from bringing it back.

End the day with “The End” : There is a lot to learn from the nature’s phenomenon of sunrise and sunset. Consider closing the disagreements by the end of the day since dragging the topic over to the next day will do no good to either of you. When the day ends, the chapter ends.

Remember the pandemic has brought testing times for each one of us and holding on to each other emotionally will help us pass this test with flying colors. Be utterly careful of how you handle your spouse during these times more so because it will leave life long impressions about the institution of marriage on the next generations. Believe me, they are such good observers ! Stay safe & Stay calm.

#mindmatters2me

Ketki Wagh

Counselling Psychologist

Mumbai, India.

Decluttering

This quarantine put attention to the art of decluttering. It indeed is an art since it comes effortlessly to a few while some of struggle with it all our lives. Decluttering of mind is even more a complex task which needs time on hand which is what this pandemic has provided to all of us in abundance. May be, once when you De-clutter yourself, you will meet and fall in love with the new you!

#mindmatters2me

Ketki Wagh

Counselling Psychologist

Mumbai, India.

Caring for Elderly during CoVid 19.

They say that the number of grey hair is equal to the amount of experience in life a person has. Indeed it is true, since the geriatric section of our society and family forms a huge number with a large amount of experience to themselves of various situations in life. Although they may be experiencing a pandemic for the first time, they have seen way lot and way much more than us and that can be denied.

Knowingly or un knowingly, they usually are taken for granted since they are the “retired” lot of the society and the home arrest is perceived to have made no difference to them since “they are as it is at home” kind of a notion. Its common to think like that, as we barely know what they do after we have left for work or rarely do we check on their routines. Well, those who do, kudos to them all !

No matter whether they are at home all the time with you, away from you or anywhere else, it is important to acknowledge that they too undergo stress during such times. Its important to check on them be it personally or virtually. The stress and fear is of the unknown and also the concern is more so about the dear ones. It becomes our responsibility to help them cope with such stressful times. A few strategies are listed for your use.

1. Address all their questions about the pandemic with utmost honesty and clarity. Avoid providing excess information. Do not forget to be an optimist in your approach.

2. Motivate them to continue their daily routines. Try participating in it with them. Try doing the simple breathing or physical exercises which they do daily in your absence.

3. After your working (from home) hours are done, plan for a family chat time where in they share experiences of their childhood. Help them relive those moments.

4. You may be making a particular receipe your way all this while, but now you can ask them their way of doing it. Try making it in that way. Let them participate. Let them be the “head chef” for that day.

5. Make them feel resourceful by asking them their opinion on certain concerns you are facing generally. Ask them for their perspective. You may choose not to implement it, but knowing does no harm.

6. Try learning a hobby that they may be good at. Or have a timed competition for solving the sudoku puzzle. Try playing card game of their times. Or any indoor game of their times.

7. Most elderly have questions about technology and we dont have time to answer them in our busy schedule. Utilize this time to upgrade their technical skills. Trust me, they feel so good.

8. Orient them to new ways of shopping like grocery, apparels, vegetables and fruits, restaurant food, medicines, that can be delivered online. If possible arrange for their consultation online. Let them know where the world is heading.

9. Participate with them in some of their religious practices can be interesting. You may also help them download an audio version of the religious script that they may be reading. An evening chanting session may add immense happiness and solace to everyone’s life.

10. The most important thing to do is show unconditional positive regard and reassurance that this pandemic is a phase and it will pass. Keep communicating and that is the key.

Remember that our elderly community forms a big number in the society. I am certain they don’t expect great treats from life, their happiness lies in the care, concern and love that we can shower on them. Some may feel that once the pandemic is over and we go back to our usual routines we may not be able to fulfill these things which are doing now for them. Trust me, they too know this and may be they know it better than us. That is precisely why the “grey matter” counts! Take care and stay safe.

Ketki Wagh

Counselling psychologist

Mumbai, India

#mindmatters2me